The lumber-jack wizard pays his respects to a sperm whale
A 40 tonne sperm whale was found dead on an Aberdeenshire beach this weekend so on our way home from a halloween house party in the ‘Shire on Sunday morning us morbid souls went to have a look-see. Us being myself, the two-dykes-in-love and the lumber-jack wizard. It was raining and thought his hat from the evil wizard get-up he has wearing would help keep him dry. I’m not sure it did. He did look amazing though, see?!
And I know, I know, the public were warned not to go for the good of their health. What can I say? We’re bad and naughty people. Seeing the whale was kinda moving actually. This huge, majestic creature that in all probability died by coming too close to the shore and getting beached. Imagine it in the water…
A few years back me and a friend saw a baby seal on a beach in Moray. It started following us and it looked like it had split its stomach and had intestines hanging out. We called the SSPCA and were informed that it was a little boy seal, and that the intestines were, in fact, it’s genitals. Oh, and if it was following us they were certain that we could out run it. They were laughing as they hung up the phone. We were embarrassed. So the green tube-like thing in the above photo is a penis. In case anyone else is as clueless as I am.
I think I’ve found the potential lie to my vegetarianism
Now I’m vegetarian, and I’m one of those vegetarians who actually tries very hard not to consume any part of any animal. It upsets me when I swallow the occasional fly. I don’t wear leather shoes or purchase anything else made of leather. But I have recently made a shocking and upsetting discovery. Animal-derived produce can be hidden in foods that aren’t obviously non-vegetarian. For example:
- Jelly and jelly sweets often contain gelatin of the pork or beef variety, which comes from the hooves of pigs and cows. This is the same for marshmallows. Veggie alternatives do exist but are near-impossible to find where I live. I miss rocky road. I’ve made my own substituting different things for marshmallows but it just isn’t the same. Gelatin has also been known to sneak into the odd dessert like chocolate mousse.
- One of the assumed safe staples for vegetarians, cheese, isn’t always veggie friendly either. Some hard cheeses, like parmesan, contain rennet, aka the stomach lining of calves.
- And pesto. A little known fact is that pesto is often made using parmesan, which means unless it’s vegetarian parmesan then pesto is also a no-no.
However, back to my recent discovery. Alcohol. Yes, that’s right, alcohol. The fining process involves passing alcohol through either gelatin or isinglass, which comes from the bladders of tropical fish. This isn’t necessary and seems to be particularly popular in Britain. And what makes it even worse is that manufacturers aren’t legally obliged to list the ingredients of alcohol.
The main obstacle when trying to judge the acceptability to vegetarians of any given product is a clause in the 1984 Food Labelling Regulations (UK) which exclude from the 1984 Food Act all drinks with an alcohol content exceeding 1.2% by volume (ABV), leaving only very low or non-alcoholic beers, wines and ciders being required to list all ingredients.
The Vegetarian Society
So it’s not even as simple as being able to scan the ingredients. However most spirits, except whisky, seem to be safe, as is strongbow although most other ciders aren’t okay, and wine is also a gamble. I have at least found a decent website, Veggie Wines, which lists much alcohol and it’s vegetarian credentials as well as listing the source they got the information from.
I’m going to try to avoid the non-veggie alcohol but if anything will test my commitment to a strict vegetarian life-style, this will be it.
Epic curry! A continuation of my forays into cooking…
10.30pm last night saw me devouring a steaming bowl of curry. (Yes, my life really is that exciting!) It took longer to make than I anticipated, and the first evening of vegging at home that I’d had in almost a fortnight was the same evening that a good friend who moved away called, and then another friend called (oh I know, it’s so hard having friends). I also drastically underestimated the amount of time it would take to peeled and slice 450g of carrots, turn a small cauliflower into florets, dice an onion and crush some garlic after which I had to do battle with the tin-opener. Note to self: get ring-pull cans from now on, even if they are three times the price. It’s worth it. Oh boy, is it worth it! But eventually everything was simmering nicely. In two pans. Who knew that the recipe would produce that volume of curry? My freezer is now full of tupperware containers of curry. I’m very glad I liked the curry because I’ll be eating it for a while. I shouldn’t be so surprised by this. I’m not so good with quantities. The other day I was making gravy to go with the nut roast. Nothing fancy, just bisto granules. Should be relatively easy, four heaped tablespoons of gravy make half a pint of gravy, right? Wrong. Four heaped TEASPOONS of gravy make half a pint of gravy. Use tablespoons instead and you get two jugs brimming over with gravy, and also several mugs of the stuff. And still I needed to sieve the lumps out. Whoops!
Someone gave me the keys to the Kingdom of the Grown-Ups!!!
Maybe I pre-empted this slightly by purchasing a shiny new kitchen appliance the other day… That’s quite an adult thing to do, right?? Okay, so it’s only a hand-blender, and the most basic hand-blender it’s possible to get but still. I was telling a friend about my new purchase and it turns out that her and her boyfriend also bought a hand-blender the other day. Only their one is multi-speed and comes with various attachments. It would appear that my hand-blender is the equivalent of the £5 vibrator one can acquire from the ‘naughty vend’ machines found in the toilets of certain drinking establishments, whereas theirs is the classic rampant rabbit (but not one of the new and improved fancy ones like The Thruster for example). In fact, my hand-blender cost LESS than a naughty vend vibrator. Me? Jealous? Never!
However, back on track, eh-hem. I still think that buying kitchen appliances that go beyond the very basic and necessary is a grown-up activity. Especially seeing as it was a consequence of my new found enjoyment of cooking. I’ve started to compile a cookbook of recipes found online. So far my firm favourite is an AMAZING aubergine bake. You can find the recipe here. It’s very easy but absolutely delicious!
But this is not my key to the Kingdom of the Grown-Ups. Oh no. It’s far more than that. I’m amazingly excited and scared and happy and WOW!!!!
And yes, this entire post has been about saying that one simple thing: Good things are happening that make for a happy Flip. Yay! =)
Blood letting in modern times
The adverts got to me with their ‘Do something amazing today – give blood and save a life’ message. But why do something amazing when alternatively you can do as I did yesterday and come as close as possible to giving blood without actually giving them a usable donation as you can (without discovering you have a blood-born virus)?
I’ve always meant to give blood but have never actually done anything about it. I came close when I was involved in the NUS (National Union of Students) campaign, ‘Please give blood because we can’t‘ but the urge passed when I remembered my fear of anything medical. Most of my friends are actually prohibited from giving blood, probably says a lot about my friends that once you exclude everyone who’s a gay man, or has recently had a tattoo or piercing, or has ever injected drugs, or has visited or lived in certain countries, or has received blood since 1980 that there aren’t many folk left standing. So I thought I should maybe give it a go. After checking my eligibility carefully given certain of my life-style factors.
After registering online with ScotBlood I made an appointment at my local centre and toddled off to attend last night. Now I wasn’t convinced that my iron levels would be up to it given that I’m a nut-wary vegetarian woman of childbearing age, but I sailed through the pin-prick test and found myself reclining on a large half-seat-half-bed contraption with a ‘donor carer’ pushing a really big needle into my arm. Everything was going grand, the sample bag, which collects the blood they use to test for syphilis, HIV, HTLV (which I’d never even heard of before) and hepatitis B and C, filled up nicely and blood started to flow into the main donation bag when it started to dry up… No amount of waggling my fingers could keep the flow of blood going and the donation had to be stopped. I still got some juice and a biscuit though! Which I consumed feeling like a fraud before I slunk out of the door. And that’s me for 12 weeks, then I can go and try again. Joy.
Workplace stress and my boss…
My team leader is cracking up. It’s our busiest time of the year at work so she has been under some pressure which she doesn’t seem to be dealing with too well… Other folk at work outside our team have picked up on it too. She looks like she’s about to cry, is very abrupt with people, disappears for short spells at work, makes silly mistakes she wouldn’t normally make and just generally looks like she isn’t doing too well.
The original approach that we adopted was a ‘give-it-time-do-nothing’. Perhaps unsurprisingly the do-nothing approach did nothing… Next step involved bring cake into work. Cuz, ya know, food makes everything better. Oh, the irony of me, the person who kicks food consumption to the curb at the first sign of mental hard times, trying to make it all better with food! My team leader smiled and looked like she was about to cry. Which was an improvement on just looking like she was about to cry but only marginally. We reverted to the ‘do-nothing’ approach based on the fact that the crazy busy time was drawing to an end and there hadn’t been any major catastrophes so maybe that would make her feel better? But so far this has achieved nothing and it’s been almost a month now… So I’ve been nominated to approach the department manager to discuss our concerns. Because we don’t know what else to do. Our team leader isn’t a very social person, I’ve tried asking how she’s doing and she just replies with the superficial social norms of our society. So we’re passing it on. Which I feel guilty about, in a way it feels like telling tales, but we’re doing it to try and help her…
I’ve had mental health issues before, but I’m ‘lucky’ in that I can carry on and fake life most of the time. I can roll into work after an hours sleep with a stinking hangover and put in a days work. I know this because I’ve done this many times during bad spells. However down I’m feeling I can still drag myself into work at the right time and do what I’m paid to do. And I would hate for people to notice and hate even more for anyone to say anything. So I feel incredibly guilty going to the department manager but I want our team leader to get the support and help that she needs and for life to be easier for her. I’m leaving in ten minutes. Eep!
I hope I’m doing the right thing…..
The Great Drinking Experiment
As previously mentioned in The Case of the Missing Hangover I have been concerned recently that I have lost my hangover. An experiment was therefore planned for tonight, Friday, where I would do everything possible to ensure I would wake up in the morning with a hangover. A ‘Please Drink Irresponsibly’ mission. This plan has been scrapped as it is now unnecessary. Last night I accidently started the experiment a night early. I met friends in town, and got slightly more drunk than I intended. By which I mean after the pub kicked us out at closing time, which may have been midnight or 1am (my memory is slightly hazy), we ended up back at my flat drinking cherry beer, watching Black Books, cooking hash browns and smoking joints until 3am or 4am. Whoopsie! But, and this is where the experiment deviated from the plan, I drank much water (and even a cup of tea!) before finally heading to bed in an attempt to be a not-really-hungover fully-functioning employee come the morning.
It is now the morning. And the result of the experiment? I refound my hangover! My internal organs are working! Whoop whoop! And the water worked as well. I’m a slightly tired, slightly headachy employee with a slightly delicate stomach who may deteriorate as the day goes on, but I am fully functioning with a minimal hangover, yet enough of a hangover to soothe my troubled mind. Yay! =)
The Case of the Missing Hangover
Over the past week or so I’ve noticed something slightly odd. I appear to have lost the ability to have a hangover. Normally I just have to smell alcohol to wake up the next day unable to lift my head from the pillow, mouth full of rancid cotton wool and the desire to never meet with food again. But the last few times I’ve expected a hangover nothing has appeared. And one of these times I really earned the hangover that didn’t appear. There was cider, there was rum, there was wine, there was beer. There was eight hours of drinking after minimal food consumption. And the next morning there was no hangover. (It was a friend’s civil partnership, hence the drinking to excess…) This is the most impressive example of my lack of a hangover, there have been other incidences however I’m not going to document all my drinking sessions, especially not the one where the stash of cider was disappeared along with half a litre of vodka (between two of us, I was not acting alone).
Now, I don’t like hangovers. In many ways this is fantastic!! Apart from the fact that it means my body has maybe become a little too accustomed to alcohol… And various internal organs have stopped working to filter out the bad and nasty toxins. This would not be good. So I’m planning a scientific experiment to see if I can still get a hangover. By, you guessed it, drinking such a stupendous amount that if I don’t wake up with the worst hangover of my life then I know there is potentially a problem… But I cannot embark on this experiment until the weekend because I’m a diligent employee. So watch this space for the results of THE GREAT DRINKING EXPERIMENT.
